Regain the desire with sensuality training
Sensuality training is a method for finding back to proximity and desire. It can also de-dramatize nudity and help release from the requirement to perform sexually. During erectile dysfunction and lack of lubrication (wetness of the vagina at arousal) this method can be very helpful. It is often recommended by sexual advisors.
The training briefly means that you have physical proximity with your partner without clothes (or with some clothes at the beginning). You introduce a sex ban for at least a month, to be able to relax and concentrate on the physical experience of giving and receiving caresses.
It is important to set off time several times a week, a few hours per time, and to plan together when the sensuality training is to take place. It may feel good to start with a shower, to feel fresh. Privacy is important, without phones and other interference. Good temperature and lighting in the room will make it easier to relax.
Sensuality training, this is how it works
Lie together on the bed for a while and relax. Decide in advance who will be the giver and receiver of caresses. Appropriate time can be about 15-30 minutes per person. The receiver settles on the stomach and the giver strokes with moderate pressure, which does not tickle or is similar to massage, the entire body from top to bottom. Include all surfaces that can caressed and notice your own and your partner’s reaction. Change roles when the giver feels ready. Afterwards, you can talk about how it felt, being both a giver and receiver.
If you both felt comfortable and relaxed, ask at the next opportunity to lie on your back instead. If not, continue to lie on your stomach a number of training sessions until you feel relaxed. If you have not had so much physical contact, or felt pressured by each other, it may be necessary to train a number of times before it’s time for the next step.
In the next step the front of the body will be caressed, but not the erogenous zones of the chest and the genital area. If the woman gets wet or the man gets erection it’s all natural. Not having to act sexually on these signals can de-dramatize and reduce pressure.
When the caresses feel relaxed the following step also includes the erogenous zones and genitals to be caressed, but without leading to orgasm. The next step includes orgasm and the last step even intercourse if you both want. All steps starts with slow and calm caresses all over the body and ends with a talk.
If you after having tried a number of times do not feel comfortable with each other, it may be a signal that there are other problems in your relationship that prevents the desire that you have to solve first. If you already stumble in finding time for exercise, it’s a clear sign that you need to review your priorities.
If on the other hand you had a new desire and appreciated the moments together, it may be a good idea to periodically recreate these. Being close and caressed is a form of sexuality that are undemanding and relaxing. If you want you can turn the sensuality into massage and possibly use oil. Belladot massage oils are available with different fragrances; Fruity, Spicy Lavender and Sea Breeze. These should not be used with a condom or vibrator.