Lust- and no lust
The desire is something that varies through life. Sometimes without knowing why. There are many ways to increase your lust – from dietary supplements and mental training to different sex toys. Why not try everything?
Lust can be seen as a desire for sexual pleasure and intimacy. Lust is an inner sexual driving force, regardless of whether you have a partner or not. When you feel sexual desire, you focus on your own sex impulses and the body’s response to the impulses. If there is not a possibility of physical pleasure and perhaps orgasm you may feel frustrated.
In the lust there is also room for sexual dreams and fantasies. The desire can create an interest in erotic material and extra attention to finding a sexual partner. With a new partner, the desire is often on top – Love is a good spice for the sex life.
Not feeling the lust
Different strong desire can be a problem in a relationship, if one’s desire is “more right” than the other’s. If you can talk about it in a problem-solving manner and find suggestions on how to deal with the difference, it usually settles. One can masturbate, help to satisfy the other, etc. However, it is important to remember that if a woman has intercourse without being excited, it may lead to pain in the genitals which can in turn lead to more serious pain conditions such as vestibulitis and vaginism.
Sex drive may vary without no direct cause. If you are missing your sex drive for long periods, you may need to think about how your life looks like. Reduced desire may be a sign that something is wrong in the relationship or in the life you live.
If you do not feel the lust, you may either miss it or not. If not, you may be asexual as about 1% of the population is. It means either you never want sexual activity or you do not want to have sex with a partner but still masturbate.
Reasons for reduced lust
There are a number of lust killers to look out for in a relationship. A life inventory can provide valuable information:
- Lifestyle: How do you divide time between work, leisure, family and sex life?
- Health: Does any of you have a disease? Do you use nicotine, alcohol, drugs? What about food, sleep and exercise?
- Relationship: Are there communication problems, anger, disappointment, demands and / or other negative factors?
- Sex: Is the sex routinely and boring, sex technique bad and / or caressing technique insensitive?
- Internal conceptions: Do you feel shameful, are there any performance requirements or performance gains? Is there anything that prevents you from enjoying?
It is valuable for both you and your partner if you make your life inventory separately. Then you can discuss if you need to change something in your life. Optionally, you may need the help of a family counselor or sex counselor to get a good discussion and find solutions that both of you are happy with.
If you find no explanation in your life situation the cause may be a physical problem such as hormone problems, if so you need to get help from a doctor. Many drugs may adversely affect the desire and ability, such as birth control pills, menopause medicine, antihistamine, blood pressure medication, pain relievers, epilepsy inhibitors, anti-rheumatism and antidepressant drugs. Ask your doctor if your medicine may affect your sexual desire and ability.
To increase your lust
Sexual aid is a way to increase your desire. Belladot Matilda is a vibrating egg, which can act as couples toy. It can be used directly on the genitals and held in hand and add an extra dimension to your and your partner’s caresses. Belladot Hot & Cool menthol is a gel that stimulates blood flow in the genitals while giving you a cool feeling on the surface.
A substance that can be pleasing to men and women is Arginine, a substance in the body that decreases after the age of 40. It is available for purchase as a dietary supplement, for example L-Argiplex.
Sensuality training is a method of finding back to your desire with your partner. It also helps to get release from the requirement to perform sexually. In short, this means that you have physical intimacy with your partner, with or without clothes and at first without intercourse. The purpose of the training is to focus on the physical experience of giving and receiving caresses. Read more about Sensuality Training.
Find the lust on your own
You can also train by setting aside time for yourself. One moment to care about oneself. Begin with a relaxing shower and then make yourself comfortable in a warm room. You can give yourself sensual caresses of the entire body and may even stimulate orgasm. With or without aids. For women, I recommend Belladot Sofia, a soft and bendable vibrator with a raised wave pattern for added enjoyment. You can also use it in the shower. A larger and more powerful vibrator is Belladot Ebba.
If you are focused on feeling good and finding things that give life happiness, you have a good ground for lust and sensuality in your sex life.