Difficult to reach orgasm – Get the help of good vibrations
There are women who think that a “real” orgasm is the one that comes during intercourse without clitoris being stimulated. But it is a fact that most women most easily orgasm by clitoral stimulation. In addition, it becomes easier to achieve orgasm during intercourse if you practice on your own – and thus know what you enjoy. So if you do have difficulty reaching an orgasm, you are not alone!
During an orgasm several relaxing and analgesics, such as oxytocin and endorphins, will make you feel good. Orgasm is something we all feel good about – but it’s not always easy to achieve. It is estimated that about 75 percent of all women need extra clitoral stimulation to get orgasm in sexual intercourse. Vibration often makes it even easier. I recommend two vibrators for clitoral stimulation: Belladot Ingrid, a soft and flexible finger vibrator, and Belladot Ester, a small but powerful clitoral vibrator. You can switch between using vibrators and to stimulate to orgasm with your fingers. Bring your experience when you’re having sex with a partner and dare to show what you enjoy.
Stress and demands makes it difficult to enjoy
Being relaxed is essential to get excited so that the vagina becomes swollen and wet. If you have demands on yourself that it should work you are not relaxed, which often means lack of orgasm. A stressed life situation can give similar problems. If you find it difficult to let go of all thoughts that spin instead of focusing on the body’s sexual sensation, arousal tend to disappear and thus the ability to orgasm.
In women seeking help for orgasm problems there is a big difference in what is experienced as a problem. It can be anything from having ever experienced an orgasm to worry about not getting orgasm while being with a partner. You may get orgasm on your own, but not with anyone else. There can be problems if your partner feel like a failure when you do not have an orgasm. Being able to put words on what you think and feel is very helpful. It’s not uncommon for you to be unhappy with your cohabitation, but it’s hard to say that and instead loses your desire for sex – and the orgasm becomes absent.
Explore your own sexuality
Try to get to know your body and your genitals when you’re alone. You can feel where it’s nice to be touched and what you can do to get excited. Fantasize freely about a situation that gets you excited or read erotic literature. Give yourself time and peace to explore yourself without the need for an orgasm. Eventually you may be looking for an outlet for all the sexual tension in your body.
Pelvic floor exercises for increased pleasure
Trained pelvic floor muscles provides the conditions for stronger and more pleasant orgasms. Train by squeezing and lifting the pelvic floor muscles as much as possible, hold for a few seconds and relax for 10 seconds. Repeat for a few minutes and do this a few times a day. Feel free to use Belladot Britt pelvic floor trainers. They facilitate exercise because they make it easier to find the right muscles. The first time the balls are used, it is easiest to lay down. Lubricant makes them easier to insert and prevent irritation of the vagina.
Orgasm during intercourse alone?
There are women who receive orgasm without clitoral stimulation. How the genitals are designed plays a part in how we get orgasm. How the vulva (outer genitals) is constructed, how the clitoris looks and where it is placed plays in. The visible part of the clitoris is like a “button” where the internal lips meet, but it has branches and nerve threads that can stretch right down to the inner sides of the thighs.
About 10 percent of all women never achieve orgasm, either with partners or masturbation but can still enjoy the caresses, closeness and intimacy with a partner. Among the remaining 90 percent, there are women who always have an orgasm, and those who have only had a few orgasms.
If you take medicine for high blood pressure, depression, Parkinson’s or rheumatism the orgasmic ability can be affected. Injury of the spinal cord and central nervous system can also make it harder to reach orgasm. If you have experienced violence during sex or learned as a child that sex is bad, you carry with you experiences that can make it harder for you to enjoy sex and orgasm.
Do not hesitate to contact a gynecologist, midwife or sexologist if you want information and help finding your lust and orgasm ability.